Daily Urban Legend

In 1996, Herman Cain released Sunday Morning, a CD of gospel classics on Melodic Praise Records. A Cain supporter recently posted the album online on his own accord, despite the Cain campaign saying it “never had an intention of promoting the music.” The Cain campaign wants to keep the music under wraps out of fear that renewed interest in it might result in the discovery of Sunday Morning’s unreleased tracks. Those recordings are of songs Mr. Cain composed himself, including “I Ain’t Read the Bible, But I Know Jesus Loves Me,” “Mary Never Knew the Touch of Man,” “Long Ago in a Land I Never Heard Of,” and “Sweet Tits of the Angels.”

-Seth Madej

Historical Fun Fact: It’s a common misconception that Vlad III, Prince of Walachia earned his nickname “The Impaler” because of his tendency to impale his enemies on giant spikes. Although he did greatly enjoy impaling his enemies, his second wife gave him the nickname because of his insatiable libido.

Back when he was still making all of that sweet network TV money, Charlie Sheen had his member insured for ten million dollars.

Before the invention of baseball, men used former Presidents to brag about their sexual conquests with women. Reaching underneath a woman’s brassiere was known as “Tickling The Tafts,” an homage to the largest US president ever, William Howard Taft, who sported very robust breasts. Kissing a woman was dubbed “The Old Thomas J” because a man was said to be “flaunting his sexual independence.” Oral sex was known as “Washington’s Smile” in reference to George’s wooden teeth. Fornication with a woman was the “Harrison Special” because, much like William Henry Harrison’s time in office, the sex usually didn’t last very long.

Not long after the birth of baseball, men moved on to the “bases” system of sexual reference still popular today. The baseball bat also played an important role in those days for it was the weapon of choice for fathers looking to seek retribution on men bragging about humping their daughter.

- Chris Illuminati writes stuff just because it can’t stay in his head. It’s for his own safety.

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